Thursday, December 31, 2015

2016

Want to feel old? Wait.
Подробнее о "2016" →
Posted by at No comments:

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

2016 Conversation Guide

The real loser in an argument about the meaning of the word 'hoverboard' is anyone who leaves that argument on foot.
Подробнее о "2016 Conversation Guide" →
Posted by at No comments:

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Henge

I've got the Craigslist post ready to go! I wasn't sure what category it should go in, so I listed it as property and put that it has 'good sun exposure.'
Подробнее о "Henge" →
Posted by at No comments:

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Fixion

My theory predicts that, at high enough energies, FRBs and perytons become indistinguishable because the detector burns out.
Подробнее о "Fixion" →
Posted by at No comments:

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Christmas Settings

SOUND DOGS MAKE: [BARKING] [HISSING] [LIGHTSABER NOISES] [FLUENT ENGLISH] [SWEARING]
Подробнее о "Christmas Settings" →
Posted by at No comments:

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Watson Medical Algorithm

Due to a minor glitch, 'discharge patient' does not cause the algorithm to exit, but instead leads back to 'hunt down and capture patient'.
Подробнее о "Watson Medical Algorithm" →
Posted by at No comments:

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Cold Medicine

Seriously considering buying some illegal drugs to try to turn them back into cold medicine.
Подробнее о "Cold Medicine" →
Posted by at No comments:

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Time Capsule

Oh no, I changed the future and now I'm disappearing! Wait, never mind, it was just my hat slipping down over my eyes.
Подробнее о "Time Capsule" →
Posted by at No comments:

Monday, December 14, 2015

Lunch

I'm trying to be healthier, so after I eat this brick of cheese, I'll have a spoonful of grease-soaked vegetables.
Подробнее о "Lunch" →
Posted by at No comments:

Friday, December 11, 2015

Red Car

That guy only drives an alkaline car to overcompensate for his highly acidic penis.
Подробнее о "Red Car" →
Posted by at No comments:

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Kites

[Dog returns with the end of a string in its mouth] [Voice drifts down from the sky] Kites are fun!
Подробнее о "Kites" →
Posted by at No comments:

Monday, December 7, 2015

The Three Laws of Robotics

In ordering #5, self-driving cars will happily drive you around, but if you tell them to drive to a car dealership, they just lock the doors and politely ask how long humans take to starve to death.
Подробнее о "The Three Laws of Robotics" →
Posted by at No comments:

Friday, December 4, 2015

Colds

The contagious period ends right around when you start to sound sick over the phone, which is probably evidence of cold viruses evolving to spread optimally in the workplace.
Подробнее о "Colds" →
Posted by at No comments:

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Baking Soda and Vinegar

Sure, it may not meet science fair standards, but I want credit for getting my baking soda and vinegar mountain added to the Decade Volcanoes list.
Подробнее о "Baking Soda and Vinegar" →
Posted by at No comments:

Monday, November 30, 2015

Fire Ants

Here in the entomology department, we have a simple two-step formula for answering any question: (1) ants are cool, and (2) we forgot the question because we were thinking about ants.
Подробнее о "Fire Ants" →
Posted by at No comments:

Friday, November 27, 2015

Food Combinations

If anyone tries this on you, the best reply is a deadpan "Oh yeah, that's a common potato chip flavor in Canada."
Подробнее о "Food Combinations" →
Posted by at No comments:

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Hoverboard


Подробнее о "Hoverboard" →
Posted by at No comments:

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Supreme Court

Writing for the majority, Justice Kennedy called the man's arguments that he could be either Alito or Ginsburg "surprisingly compelling, but ultimately unconvincing."
Подробнее о "Supreme Court" →
Posted by at No comments:

Friday, November 20, 2015

Five-Day Forecast

You know what they say--if you don't like the weather here in the Solar System, just wait five billion years.
Подробнее о "Five-Day Forecast" →
Posted by at No comments:

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

DNA

Researchers just found the gene responsible for mistakenly thinking we've found the gene for specific things. It's the region between the start and the end of every chromosome, plus a few segments in our mitochondria.
Подробнее о "DNA" →
Posted by at No comments:

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Snakes

The last band of color indicates the snake's tolerance for being held before biting.
Подробнее о "Snakes" →
Posted by at No comments:

Friday, November 13, 2015

Flashlights

Due to a typo, I initially found a forum for serious Fleshlight enthusiasts, and it turns out their highest-end models are ALSO capable of setting trees on fire. They're impossible to use without severe burns, but some of them swear it's worth it.
Подробнее о "Flashlights" →
Posted by at No comments:

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Linguistics Club

If that's too easy, you could try joining Tautology Club, which meets on the date of the Tautology Club meeting.
Подробнее о "Linguistics Club" →
Posted by at No comments:

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Isolation

2060: The gregarious superintelligent AI, happily talking its way out of a box, is fast becoming a relic of the past. Today's quantum hyper-beings are too busy with their internal multiverse sims to even notice that they're in boxes at all!
Подробнее о "Isolation" →
Posted by at No comments:

Friday, November 6, 2015

MarketWatch

Markets have been rocked by a second day of uncertainty after someone set up a giant Ouija board on the NYSE wall controlled collectively by the movement of the stock tickers.
Подробнее о "MarketWatch" →
Posted by at No comments:

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Water Delivery

When I was a kid, I asked my parents why our houses didn't have toothpaste pipes in addition to water ones. I'm strangely pleased to see Amazon thinking the same way.
Подробнее о "Water Delivery" →
Posted by at No comments:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)