Thursday, April 30, 2015

Venus

The sudden introduction of Venusian flowers led to an explosive growth of unusual Earth pollinators, which became known as the "butterfly effect."
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Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Typical Morning Routine

Hang on, I've heard this problem. We need to pour water into the duct until the phone floats up and ... wait, phones sink in water. Mercury. We need a vat of mercury to pour down the vent. That will definitely make this situation better and not worse.
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Monday, April 27, 2015

Spectroscopy

Although right now I'm more excited about ESPRESSO's radial velocity measurements, so I'm listening to This Kiss, her song about measuring "centrifugal motion" on "a rooftop under the sky".
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Sunday, April 26, 2015

Win by Induction

This would be bad enough, but every 30th or 40th pokéball has TWO of them inside.
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Basketball Earth

How many points do you get for dunking every basketball in existence at once?
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Sunday, April 19, 2015

PermaCal

The flood of PermaCalNTP leap-second notifications was bad enough, but when people started asking for millisecond resolution, the resulting DDOS brought down the internet.

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Thursday, April 16, 2015

Code Quality

I honestly didn't think you could even USE emoji in variable names. Or that there were so many different crying ones.

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Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Horoscopes

If you live in the Northern hemisphere, anyway. In the southern hemisphere, due to the coriolis effect, babies are born nine months BEFORE they're conceived.

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Sunday, April 12, 2015

Spice Girl

Haha, you'll see!

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Thursday, April 9, 2015

Napoleon

"Mr. President, what if the unthinkable happens? What if the launch goes wrong, and Napoleon is not stranded on the Moon?" "Have Safire write up a speech."

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Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Scenery Cheat Sheet

At the boundary between each zone, stories blend together. Somewhere in the New Mexico desert, the Roadrunner is pursued by a tireless Anton Chigurh.

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Sunday, April 5, 2015

Operating Systems

One of the survivors, poking around in the ruins with the point of a spear, uncovers a singed photo of Richard Stallman. They stare in silence. "This," one of them finally says, "This is a man who BELIEVED in something."

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Thursday, April 2, 2015

Metaball

Shoot, it landed in the golf course. Gonna be hard to get it down the--oh, never mind, it rolled onto the ice hazard. Face-off!

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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

xkcloud



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